1. I agreed to suspend my Doctor of Information Systems professional doctoral degree for a year while I source the finance for it – perhaps through crowdfunding. Getting a doctoral degree is something I’ve wanted since I was at least 11.
2. I turned down BPP Law School and the OU’s LLB programme because I felt the risks of non-completion were too high, as the credits could not be transferred to another programme. It was likely I could have got all my course fees paid by the OU worth over £5000, but the opportunity cost was too high.
3. I met a long-lost school friend, who gave me feelings stronger that I had to my first love. During a tough period when I wanted to get away from it all permanently because I felt my parents expectations of me being able to do housework was too high, and that I felt neither loved nor understood, they said that if I moved in with them that they would expect me to learn to do housework. A decision, to tell them good day, has never filled me with as much grief since I came to terms with the love I had with my first love, as they both had physically all I would want in a partner. If you think that I can’t even boil an egg, due to problems with executive functioning how am I supposed to do other more complex tasks?
4. I agreed for my job, at the firm I founded to be made redundant on a remunerative basis. We have now moved to a contingent working model, where people are engaged for only a specific task, using their own equipment, when they are needed, which they don’t have to accept if they don’t want. I believe such a model will become commonplace as university education and new media lead to more people becoming specialists being hired for their unique expertise for only the small period of time it is needed for, so they can move on, like journeymen or women, meeting more people, gaining more experience, than is possible in the 9-5 workplace dominant at present.
Of these, number 3 was the hardest. This is what I sent them to explain:
“I have never loved anyone as completely as (I) love you. But I would rather have it as a perfect memory than be in a situation where you resent me for not doing any housework which I won’t do. Sorry, I still love you and don’t think I’ll ever get over you :’-(”
Some may say I’m being selfish, but I would say the opposite is true. It would be selfish to be with them and do nothing around the house and having them complain at me like my first love did so that it upsets both of us. Rule 2(f) of the BCS Code of Conduct says, “avoid injuring others, their property, reputation, or employment by false or malicious or negligent action or inaction.” I think this was the most ethical decision to make to avoid neglect on my part, causing psychological injury to both of us.