Are you are parent of a child diagnosed with autism? Do you wonder what caused it? Do you wish there was a cure for it? The answer is simple:
- Neurological differences cause your child to be autistic
- But it is you and others that cause them to suffer autism!
A. How many times a day do you find yourself doing these things?:
- Telling your autistic child they shouldn’t wear a jacket in hot weather or wear the same jacket over and over.
- Telling your child their room is messy and then blame them if you tidy it and they can’t find things.
- Telling your child not to ‘play with their food’ such as if they’re lining peas up.
- Telling your child they must not have the same food all the time and try different things even if that is not what they are used to or like.
- Telling your child you wish they could be like other children and want to socialise rather than spend time on their personal interests on their own.
- Telling your child they have spent enough time on their interests and should do something else ‘for a change’.
B. How many times do you see your child looking like this?:
- Their arms are folded and they look angry when you’re yabbering on with a friend and ignoring them, especially in public when they can’t go to their room to focus on their interests.
- You find them gripping their arms or clencing their fists when you are trying to get them to be the person you want them to be when they would prefer to be themselves.
- You find their eyes look evil, almost as if they’ll kill you, when you try to change their routine, take something from them, or otherwise change their environment without speaking with them.
If you found you have said yes to many of these things, then it is likely that it is you causing your child’s autism by trying to change them from being autistic to being like you. There is nothing wrong with them wanting to do the above things, just because you wouldn’t do them. You wouldn’t force a Black person to change the colour of their skin just because everyone around them is White would you? You are treating your child like an ugly duckling, when if you let them be themselves and actually supported and tolerated their autistic personality then they could grow up to be a very beautiful swan.
The person that needs to change is you:
- Allow your child to have a routine to keep their life ordered and disciplined. If they want things in a certain order, such as for things to be lined up in a certain way or at a certain time, don’t stop them
- Have a clear set of rules they can follow, and don’t change or deviate from them
- Make use of their autistic personality, ask them to solve problems and ask their opinions
- If you want to watch soap operas without them interrupting, then make sure one of your rules is that you must have some ‘me time’ to yourself. But make sure, equally, you don’t interrupt them when they are enjoying their special interests without warning!
- Stick to the same food each week and each day of the week. Find out which healthy foods your child likes and ask them to plan a rota of when they’d like to eat them. Respect their choices.
- If they are expecting something, like to come home and play, give them advance warning if you plan to change, and make sure you give clear and understandable reasons why the change needs to happen.
- If your child prefers a specific type of clothing but you don’t want them to be the same all the time, ask them if they would mind them in different colours or designs. If they want the label taken out then do it.